AD MEN – by Tanis Harms, © 2013
AD MEN – by Tanis Harms, © 2013
.....use in address bar: churchskits.blogspot.com
STYLE:
Comedy. (4 pages)
PREMISE:
Husband and Wife compete in the boardroom to come up with the “perfect ad” campaign for the perfect couple getaway.
TOPIC:
Marriage.
SCRIPTURE:
Eph.5:21-31.
CHARACTERS (LINE COUNT) DESCRIPTION:
(13) BOSS –
(12) WIFE –
(12) HUSBAND –
PROPS:
Table, 3 chairs.
SCRIPT:
(Boss sits at the head of a table. Wife and Husband sit at either side. Everyone uses air-quotes when talking.)
BOSS:
So, our clients want the best ad campaign for “Getaway-Resort’s perfect vacations.” They would like us to use the perfect marriage as their platform. As you two are married to each other, we thought you’d be the best employees to work on this project. AND, you’re both Christians, right? That MUST mean you have an extra “leg-up” on everyone.
HUSBAND:
Hmm, well, PERFECT marriage, you say? And just what sort of retreats are we talking about, here?
BOSS:
There’s a variety of resort and retreat packages: for honeymoons, health spas, beach and boating, golfing-
WIFE:
Oh, I’ve got one! The “perfect” Getaway-Resort GOLFING retreat for every married couple: golfing under par– good; getting a personal best- better; “beating” your husband in a game– “priceless”.
BOSS:
Hmm, well, sounds a little aggressive and– competitive, doesn’t it?
HUSBAND:
I have a better idea! Honeymoon-Getaway-Resorts: the perfect place to “get” married. Because - “getting” married- is good; marrying a man who has a job- is better; but marrying a man who earns “enough” to even take her to a place like this to satisfy her insatiable desires, which includes a big-time shoe-shopping-habit– priceless.
WIFE:
Well if you wanna play it that way, how about- The perfect “Getaway” Resort– where married couples can go “together” but stay “apart”. Wives can enjoy the lovely relaxing spa, while husbands go fish and “get lost” at sea.
HUSBAND:
The perfect Getaway-“ONE-STOP”-Resort where you can have “everything” at your fingertips: marriage ministers, marriage counselors, or divorce lawyers– it’s all right there and it’s all “your choice” at your convenience.
BOSS:
Ah, what’s going on? From the looks of things, you two do not have that perfect marriage. You don’t even have an “almost-good” one!
HUSBAND:
What? We love each other.
WIFE:
Surrree we love each other.
BOSS:
It sounds more like you both LOVE to fight.
HUSBAND:
AND win.
WIFE:
Hey, I didn’t say it.
HUSBAND:
You were thinking it– I just said it first.
WIFE:
(finger-notches the air sarcastically)
Oh. Then score for you!
BOSS:
All right. Time out. What about unity and respect? I really need you to work together, here. As in a “group effort”– as in “team” work.
WIFE:
(tiny voice, holding index fingers up with tiny spins)
Hoo-ray.
BOSS:
That’s it.
HUSBAND:
(bigger voice, pumping fist in air)
HOO-RAY!
WIFE:
(spinning entire arm up in the air)
HOOOOOO-RAAAAH!!!!
BOSS:
Okay, you are literally still competing.
WIFE:
So I’ll win.
BOSS:
More like- lose.
HUSBAND:
Ha! You’re the loser. That means I win.
BOSS:
No, I mean, you BOTH lose. If you are a team, but all you ever do is fight, then nobody ever wins.
(Husband and Wife suddenly stop to think.)
HUSBAND:
You’re right. We need to work on this.
BOSS:
Onnnn the campaign or on your marriage?
WIFE:
Both!!! Obviously.
BOSS:
Wow, you actually agreed on something. And here I thought because you were– Christians- there would be some kind of difference.
WIFE:
Ouch! What a bad testimony we’ve been. I mean, if there’s any time to be a good ad man, it’s for God’s kingdom, and– we have been terrible.
HUSBAND:
The worst. I’m sorry. The word “divorce” should never even be in our vocabulary. And having God in our lives SHOULD make a difference. Afterall, we have GOD on our team. I mean, WE are on God’s team.
WIFE:
And THAT is the winning team! My parents had a great marriage and always said, “The closer” we both get to God, “the closer” we get to each other.”
HUSBAND:
My parents always told me that “God never fails”– so I should make God the foundation of my marriage– so that the marriage “will never fail”.
BOSS:
Sounds like your parents had a few pretty good ad campaigns for marriage.
WIFE:
The best! Another one is: a marriage that “works” is one that is always “working” on the marriage.
HUSBAND:
So then– yeah- let’s get to work!
.....use in address bar: churchskits.blogspot.com
STYLE:
Comedy. (4 pages)
PREMISE:
Husband and Wife compete in the boardroom to come up with the “perfect ad” campaign for the perfect couple getaway.
TOPIC:
Marriage.
SCRIPTURE:
Eph.5:21-31.
CHARACTERS (LINE COUNT) DESCRIPTION:
(13) BOSS –
(12) WIFE –
(12) HUSBAND –
PROPS:
Table, 3 chairs.
SCRIPT:
(Boss sits at the head of a table. Wife and Husband sit at either side. Everyone uses air-quotes when talking.)
BOSS:
So, our clients want the best ad campaign for “Getaway-Resort’s perfect vacations.” They would like us to use the perfect marriage as their platform. As you two are married to each other, we thought you’d be the best employees to work on this project. AND, you’re both Christians, right? That MUST mean you have an extra “leg-up” on everyone.
HUSBAND:
Hmm, well, PERFECT marriage, you say? And just what sort of retreats are we talking about, here?
BOSS:
There’s a variety of resort and retreat packages: for honeymoons, health spas, beach and boating, golfing-
WIFE:
Oh, I’ve got one! The “perfect” Getaway-Resort GOLFING retreat for every married couple: golfing under par– good; getting a personal best- better; “beating” your husband in a game– “priceless”.
BOSS:
Hmm, well, sounds a little aggressive and– competitive, doesn’t it?
HUSBAND:
I have a better idea! Honeymoon-Getaway-Resorts: the perfect place to “get” married. Because - “getting” married- is good; marrying a man who has a job- is better; but marrying a man who earns “enough” to even take her to a place like this to satisfy her insatiable desires, which includes a big-time shoe-shopping-habit– priceless.
WIFE:
Well if you wanna play it that way, how about- The perfect “Getaway” Resort– where married couples can go “together” but stay “apart”. Wives can enjoy the lovely relaxing spa, while husbands go fish and “get lost” at sea.
HUSBAND:
The perfect Getaway-“ONE-STOP”-Resort where you can have “everything” at your fingertips: marriage ministers, marriage counselors, or divorce lawyers– it’s all right there and it’s all “your choice” at your convenience.
BOSS:
Ah, what’s going on? From the looks of things, you two do not have that perfect marriage. You don’t even have an “almost-good” one!
HUSBAND:
What? We love each other.
WIFE:
Surrree we love each other.
BOSS:
It sounds more like you both LOVE to fight.
HUSBAND:
AND win.
WIFE:
Hey, I didn’t say it.
HUSBAND:
You were thinking it– I just said it first.
WIFE:
(finger-notches the air sarcastically)
Oh. Then score for you!
BOSS:
All right. Time out. What about unity and respect? I really need you to work together, here. As in a “group effort”– as in “team” work.
WIFE:
(tiny voice, holding index fingers up with tiny spins)
Hoo-ray.
BOSS:
That’s it.
HUSBAND:
(bigger voice, pumping fist in air)
HOO-RAY!
WIFE:
(spinning entire arm up in the air)
HOOOOOO-RAAAAH!!!!
BOSS:
Okay, you are literally still competing.
WIFE:
So I’ll win.
BOSS:
More like- lose.
HUSBAND:
Ha! You’re the loser. That means I win.
BOSS:
No, I mean, you BOTH lose. If you are a team, but all you ever do is fight, then nobody ever wins.
(Husband and Wife suddenly stop to think.)
HUSBAND:
You’re right. We need to work on this.
BOSS:
Onnnn the campaign or on your marriage?
WIFE:
Both!!! Obviously.
BOSS:
Wow, you actually agreed on something. And here I thought because you were– Christians- there would be some kind of difference.
WIFE:
Ouch! What a bad testimony we’ve been. I mean, if there’s any time to be a good ad man, it’s for God’s kingdom, and– we have been terrible.
HUSBAND:
The worst. I’m sorry. The word “divorce” should never even be in our vocabulary. And having God in our lives SHOULD make a difference. Afterall, we have GOD on our team. I mean, WE are on God’s team.
WIFE:
And THAT is the winning team! My parents had a great marriage and always said, “The closer” we both get to God, “the closer” we get to each other.”
HUSBAND:
My parents always told me that “God never fails”– so I should make God the foundation of my marriage– so that the marriage “will never fail”.
BOSS:
Sounds like your parents had a few pretty good ad campaigns for marriage.
WIFE:
The best! Another one is: a marriage that “works” is one that is always “working” on the marriage.
HUSBAND:
So then– yeah- let’s get to work!
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